People Pleasing
You might spend a lot of time worrying about what other people think of you, looking for reassurance that people like you, or feeling guilty about putting your own needs first. These are just a few of the experiences I commonly support clients with in therapy.
Feeling dependent on what people think of you
Do you need everyone to like you or think well of you?
You might try hard to make a good impression, want people to like you or worry about how you come across. Even when you don't like someone yourself, it can still matter to you that they like you or think well of you. You might look for reassurance that you haven't upset someone or done anything wrong.
You might change how you behave depending on who you're with, agree with things you don't necessarily agree with, or try harder when someone seems uninterested or distant.
What would it be like to feel more confident in yourself, trust your own judgement and do what feels right for you?
Finding it hard when someone is upset with you
Do you find it difficult when someone is angry, upset or disappointed with you?
Maybe someone is annoyed with you, disagrees with a decision you've made or tells you that you've hurt their feelings. You might find it difficult to let them be unhappy with you, even when you don't think you've done anything wrong.
You might feel responsible for making things better, find yourself apologising or giving in to keep the peace, or feel unable to relax until you know they're okay with you again.
It can be difficult to accept that someone else is unhappy when you feel responsible for making them feel better.
Feeling guilty for putting yourself first
Do you feel guilty for saying no or choosing what you want? You might worry about being selfish, letting someone down or disappointing them. Even when you know you don’t want to do something, saying no can feel uncomfortable — sometimes it can feel wrong.
You might agree to things you’d rather not do, put other people’s needs before your own and tell yourself you’ll come back to what you want later. But later doesn’t always come. Over time, so much of your energy can go into looking after everyone else that your own needs, hopes and ambitions keep getting pushed aside. —> Take the first step
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