Self-Doubt & Insecurity
I help clients who struggle with their confidence. These are just a few of the experiences I commonly work with in therapy.
Feeling like you're not good enough
Does it feel like you’re always trying to meet expectations? And what happens when you fall short? How good you’re supposed to be. How much you’re supposed to know. How quickly you’re supposed to work. There can be so much pressure to get things right, while underneath it all is the fear that maybe you’re not actually good enough. And what if people find out?
There can be a real fear of making a mistake, not knowing what to do or getting something wrong. It can leave you feeling anxious, overwhelmed or constantly overthinking what you say and do, as though getting something wrong says something about you, rather than simply being something that happened.
Over time, it can stop being about making mistakes and start to feel like you are the mistake — flawed, not good enough or somehow less worthy than everyone else. Shame can become overwhelming, leaving you wanting to disappear or make yourself as small as possible.
Caring too much about what other people think
Do you spend a lot of time worrying about what other people think of you? Maybe you want people to like you, or think you’re doing well. When someone’s opinion matters to you, it can feel really important to get things right — and difficult when you think someone might be disappointed in you or disapprove of something you’ve done.
You might find yourself changing what you say or do depending on who you’re around, trying to meet other people’s expectations or holding parts of yourself back. Sometimes it can feel easier to go along with what other people want than risk being judged, rejected or thought badly of.
You might replay conversations, second-guess yourself and wonder whether you’ve said or done something wrong. You can spend so much time worrying about what everyone else thinks of you that you don’t get to just be yourself.
Comparing yourself to others
Do you ever look at other people and wonder why they seem to be so much further ahead than you? You might look around and feel like everyone else has achieved more, or has things you don't. They’re further ahead, while you’re falling behind.
Maybe they seem to have everything figured out. A successful career. A higher income. More friends. Maybe they seem more attractive or desirable, or more confident and capable than you feel. Meanwhile, you’re left wondering, why can’t I have that too?
Comparing yourself to other people can become so automatic that you hardly notice you’re doing it. You start measuring your life against everyone else’s — focusing on what you haven’t achieved, opportunities you’ve missed, or the person you thought you would have become by now. Looking at your own life, you can be left feeling inadequate, as though you don’t have enough to show for where you are.
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