Your 20s and 30s
In our 20s, it can feel like we’re supposed to know what we’re doing.
We’re trying to start a career, get a good job and somehow be good at it when we’ve never done it before. We’re trying to fit in, get people to like us and experience as much as we can. Dating, falling in love, trying to make relationships work, dealing with all the messiness, and break-ups. It’s all new.
We don’t know exactly what we’re doing, or how to do it. We don't know who we are, what we really want, or how to get to where we think we should be. We can feel insecure and uncertain about the future, bumping along with the tides and hoping that somehow we’re heading in the right direction. -Let’s do this together
And what if we’re falling behind?
It can feel like everyone around us is doing better. They’re more successful, making more money, people are impressed by them. They’ve got the perfect job and somehow they’re good at it too. Maybe they’re getting promoted faster than us. Or they’re more confident and charismatic. They have more friends. Everyone seems to like them. Maybe they’ve found an amazing partner. And it all seems to come so easily to them. Like they don’t even notice. But not for us.
We can feel so inadequate. So behind. Maybe we’re not as capable as we thought we were. Not strong enough, not intelligent enough, not good enough. My family expects so much more from me. They deserve better. I should be doing better. What if I can’t do it? - Get in touch
Our 30s can be a time of big upheaval and uncertain stillness.
We might know ourselves a little better by now, while going through some of the biggest changes in our lives. Getting married, buying a home or having a baby can completely rearrange the life we knew before. We’re moving into a different stage of life, and sometimes that means figuring out who we are within it.
But it might not look like that at all. We might have spent years working towards where we are, only to wonder if this is actually where we want to be. We might want to change careers, change direction, or start again – and somehow starting again feels bigger now that we’re not in our twenties anymore.
And sometimes, nothing seems to be moving at all. The milestones we thought we’d have reached still feel a long way away. We can look back at the last decade and wonder what we have to show for it. We’re still figuring things out. Still not where we thought we’d be. And wondering how, after all this time, we can still feel so far behind.